Yes… I fell in love again.
I fell in love with someone that I prayed from above. Anyway, he gave it but suddenly it didn’t last. He gave up on me/us with a thought that he’s my forever. We don’t fight, we really don’t fight because I hate arguments. So that’s why sometimes I don’t talk.
Everything has changed. I don’t know how did it happen but every time I think of it there’s still pain left in my heart. Maybe I’m not good enough for him, boring and not matured enough to handle some things that he thought that I can’t. But I hope that he helped me with that, support and understand like what I did when he feels like everything is not going to be okay with him. Because when you love someone, you will stay for her/him no matter what happens in your relationship. Realization hits me, he really don’t love me the way that I loved him because I would take the risk to fight for this but how if the one that I am fighting for already gave up?
People ask me if I’m okay but I only response with a smile. Because if I’m going to tell them how I feel right now I’m just going to cry. I can’t hold my tears anymore, they said that it’s okay not to be okay and I’m so tired of it. Do you know the feeling inside my chest? it’s really painful, it sting, hard to breath, so heavy and I wanted to scream because of it. How can he do this to me? all the memories that we made, moments and love. Why is it easy for someone to give up without trying?
The Nectar of Pain by Najwa Zebian